Match #1: Paul Heyman vs. Sabu
Welcome back to every WWE ECW ever! We are LIVE in Madison Square Garden, a truly special occasion. We start the night off with Paul Heyman cutting a promo about how happy he was that he was such a successful guy. Sabu comes out to put an end to that. Such a badass theme song, and he looks like such a badass, standing there with just his chair.
He comes into the ring, but first dispatches of the RIOT goons with a steel chair. What a start to the night! Heyman says that as a punishment for doing this, he will fight Big Show in the main event for the ECW Title!
Winner: Technically Sabu - he got a ECW Title match!
Match Rating: Excited
Weapons: Chair (1)
--
Match #2: Hardcore Holly vs. Rob Van Dam
This is a pretty good back and forth match. Truth be told, I've always liked Hardcore Holly. I'm really not sure why; I think it's because his name is literally Hardcore and that was jut so appealing to me as a kid. Truthfully, though? Couldn't tell you. The basis for this rivalry, according to commentary, is that Hardcore Holly was told by Heyman that RVD did not want him to come to WWE ECW. That does not seem like something RVD would say, but hey, it's wrestling.
Just as this match seems to be coming to an end, RVD is attacked first by Stevie Richards. Um... okay? Seems random. Then, Mike Knox comes out after Stevie is (obviously) unsuccessful, then followed by Test, who hits RVD with an inverted suplex and ends the match via DQ. Too many DQ endings for ECW, I gotta say.
The foursome beats down RVD relentlessly until The Sandman's music hits, and the crowd goes absolutely NUTS. Sandman and Dreamer arrive, and Sandman cleans the ring with his kendo stick like a boss. Richards is the only one left in the ring, and RVD makes him pay with a brutal Frog Splash.
Winner: Rob Van Dam by DQ
Match Rating: Average
Weapons: Kendo Stick (1)
--
They announce that John Cena's new movie, The Marine, will be coming soon! Let's go! Also, they announce that the ECW Championship match will be extreme rules. Thank. God.
Match #3: CM Punk vs. Shannon Moore
Yes! Moore has arrived! This is going to be good. Also, not going to lie, but I think this is the first time I have ever seen Shannon Moore wrestle. I feel like I am finally watching a forbidden secret or something.
Punk starts to make work of Moore as the crowd chants his name. My friend Shannon has a dope mohawk, but he's got almost no chance. He does a running knee into the corner, until he locks in the Anaconda Vice and ends the match in quick order. Moore loses his ECW debut. Ouch.
I'm not surprised; like I said, I knew that Moore flopped big time. But I didn't realize it was going to be this bad from the get go. Oh well, Joey Styles says this victory is "HUGE". I believe him.
Winner: CM Punk
Match Rating: Squash
Weapons: None
--
Rene Dupree is about to make his ECW debut as well. What?! Let's go! We also get an FBI appearance which had me laughing my ass off. Nunzio AND Tony Mamaluke?! I miss this tag team and they should do another iteration of it. They then seemingly set up CM Punk vs. Mike Knox.
Before the match, we get a Kevin Thorn sighting! He and Ariel borderline dry hump on the announcer's table.
Match #4: Rene Duree vs. Balls Mahoney
Dupree looks like such a beast! I remember him from SmackDown vs. RAW 2006 and strictly that game only, where he was my tag team champion for most likely every single GM mode I did. Ah, and now I see Balls is his opponent. No wonder Thorn is here.
Rene Dupree aesthetically looks like Matt Riddle, it's really throwing me off. The match is somewhat decent, it's really just filler until the inevitable distraction that Thorn and Ariel will cause. Inevitably, it happens. Balls decides to get a little bit more extreme than the rules allow and grabs a chair, supposedly to send a message to Thorn. Thorn gets the message and responds once the ref is distracted by Dupree in the form of a big boot, which send Mahoney careening into the steel steps face first. Ouch.
Dupree rolls him into the ring and gets a win. This has been one of the better rivalries so far in the new ECW.
Winner: Renee Dupree
Match Rating: Fun and Interesting - Will Continue
Weapons: Steel Steps (1)
--
Matt Striker promo; honestly I couldn't even tell you what it was about. Just that New York is garbage and so is Sandman. Whatever. Let's move on.
Match #5: Sabu vs. Big Show (C) - ECW Championship - Extreme Rules
Been anticipating this one. Let's get it on. They announce that DX is going to be taking on Big Show, Vince and Shane McMahon at Unforgiven. I still might do that PPV rendition of this episode that I mentioned.
Sabu immediately grabs a chair to start this off. He throws it at Big Show, who swats it like it's nothing. Sweet! Let's keep that going. The match is unfortunately a bit slow to start while Big Show dominates. Eventually, Sabu does make it interesting with some chairs, slamming them right into the Show's skull. That dude must have bones made of titanium.
Sabu tries an ill-advised Camel Clutch. Think of the size difference, my friend. He does get Big Show stuck on the ropes, though, and delivers a nice dropkick from the top rope. Sabu is just too "injured" to mount much of an offense. The crowd is getting restless; "we want tables" echoes.
Big Show is happy to oblige, and grabs one from under the ring, putting it dead center in the ring. Sabu turns a Big Show chokelam into a DDT through the table, getting a near-fall of 2. A third chair then makes it way into the ring, and Sabu puts Big Show through another conveniently placed table, and it looks like Sabu has serious momentum.
Show gets up while Sabu sets up ANOTHER table, but Sabu drives him to submission with chairs. He then decides he is going to jump from the chair over the top rope onto Big Show who is resting on the table, but Big Show gets up, catches him, and choke slams him violently through the table. Show hits a Show Stopper in the ring to end things. This was a crazy, violent, awesome match. Just wish it got to business a bit sooner.
Winner: The Big Show
Match Rating: Better as it Progressed
Weapons: Chair (3), Table (3)
--
All in all, another solid show for ECW. I just wish the show was not as docile as it is, if you will. Every match should be Extreme Rules, especially in MSG. But that's just me. At least they had the wherewithal to book a title match tonight, which delivered.
He comes into the ring, but first dispatches of the RIOT goons with a steel chair. What a start to the night! Heyman says that as a punishment for doing this, he will fight Big Show in the main event for the ECW Title!
Winner: Technically Sabu - he got a ECW Title match!
Match Rating: Excited
Weapons: Chair (1)
--
Match #2: Hardcore Holly vs. Rob Van Dam
This is a pretty good back and forth match. Truth be told, I've always liked Hardcore Holly. I'm really not sure why; I think it's because his name is literally Hardcore and that was jut so appealing to me as a kid. Truthfully, though? Couldn't tell you. The basis for this rivalry, according to commentary, is that Hardcore Holly was told by Heyman that RVD did not want him to come to WWE ECW. That does not seem like something RVD would say, but hey, it's wrestling.
Just as this match seems to be coming to an end, RVD is attacked first by Stevie Richards. Um... okay? Seems random. Then, Mike Knox comes out after Stevie is (obviously) unsuccessful, then followed by Test, who hits RVD with an inverted suplex and ends the match via DQ. Too many DQ endings for ECW, I gotta say.
The foursome beats down RVD relentlessly until The Sandman's music hits, and the crowd goes absolutely NUTS. Sandman and Dreamer arrive, and Sandman cleans the ring with his kendo stick like a boss. Richards is the only one left in the ring, and RVD makes him pay with a brutal Frog Splash.
Winner: Rob Van Dam by DQ
Match Rating: Average
Weapons: Kendo Stick (1)
--
They announce that John Cena's new movie, The Marine, will be coming soon! Let's go! Also, they announce that the ECW Championship match will be extreme rules. Thank. God.
Match #3: CM Punk vs. Shannon Moore
Yes! Moore has arrived! This is going to be good. Also, not going to lie, but I think this is the first time I have ever seen Shannon Moore wrestle. I feel like I am finally watching a forbidden secret or something.
Punk starts to make work of Moore as the crowd chants his name. My friend Shannon has a dope mohawk, but he's got almost no chance. He does a running knee into the corner, until he locks in the Anaconda Vice and ends the match in quick order. Moore loses his ECW debut. Ouch.
I'm not surprised; like I said, I knew that Moore flopped big time. But I didn't realize it was going to be this bad from the get go. Oh well, Joey Styles says this victory is "HUGE". I believe him.
Winner: CM Punk
Match Rating: Squash
Weapons: None
--
Rene Dupree is about to make his ECW debut as well. What?! Let's go! We also get an FBI appearance which had me laughing my ass off. Nunzio AND Tony Mamaluke?! I miss this tag team and they should do another iteration of it. They then seemingly set up CM Punk vs. Mike Knox.
Before the match, we get a Kevin Thorn sighting! He and Ariel borderline dry hump on the announcer's table.
Match #4: Rene Duree vs. Balls Mahoney
Dupree looks like such a beast! I remember him from SmackDown vs. RAW 2006 and strictly that game only, where he was my tag team champion for most likely every single GM mode I did. Ah, and now I see Balls is his opponent. No wonder Thorn is here.
Rene Dupree aesthetically looks like Matt Riddle, it's really throwing me off. The match is somewhat decent, it's really just filler until the inevitable distraction that Thorn and Ariel will cause. Inevitably, it happens. Balls decides to get a little bit more extreme than the rules allow and grabs a chair, supposedly to send a message to Thorn. Thorn gets the message and responds once the ref is distracted by Dupree in the form of a big boot, which send Mahoney careening into the steel steps face first. Ouch.
Dupree rolls him into the ring and gets a win. This has been one of the better rivalries so far in the new ECW.
Winner: Renee Dupree
Match Rating: Fun and Interesting - Will Continue
Weapons: Steel Steps (1)
--
Matt Striker promo; honestly I couldn't even tell you what it was about. Just that New York is garbage and so is Sandman. Whatever. Let's move on.
Match #5: Sabu vs. Big Show (C) - ECW Championship - Extreme Rules
Been anticipating this one. Let's get it on. They announce that DX is going to be taking on Big Show, Vince and Shane McMahon at Unforgiven. I still might do that PPV rendition of this episode that I mentioned.
Sabu immediately grabs a chair to start this off. He throws it at Big Show, who swats it like it's nothing. Sweet! Let's keep that going. The match is unfortunately a bit slow to start while Big Show dominates. Eventually, Sabu does make it interesting with some chairs, slamming them right into the Show's skull. That dude must have bones made of titanium.
Sabu tries an ill-advised Camel Clutch. Think of the size difference, my friend. He does get Big Show stuck on the ropes, though, and delivers a nice dropkick from the top rope. Sabu is just too "injured" to mount much of an offense. The crowd is getting restless; "we want tables" echoes.
Big Show is happy to oblige, and grabs one from under the ring, putting it dead center in the ring. Sabu turns a Big Show chokelam into a DDT through the table, getting a near-fall of 2. A third chair then makes it way into the ring, and Sabu puts Big Show through another conveniently placed table, and it looks like Sabu has serious momentum.
Show gets up while Sabu sets up ANOTHER table, but Sabu drives him to submission with chairs. He then decides he is going to jump from the chair over the top rope onto Big Show who is resting on the table, but Big Show gets up, catches him, and choke slams him violently through the table. Show hits a Show Stopper in the ring to end things. This was a crazy, violent, awesome match. Just wish it got to business a bit sooner.
Winner: The Big Show
Match Rating: Better as it Progressed
Weapons: Chair (3), Table (3)
--
All in all, another solid show for ECW. I just wish the show was not as docile as it is, if you will. Every match should be Extreme Rules, especially in MSG. But that's just me. At least they had the wherewithal to book a title match tonight, which delivered.
Match of the Night: Big Show vs. Sabu (Extreme Rules) - This was a great match with a lot of violence and destruction; exactly what you want from an ECW match.
Wrestler of the Night: Sabu - He is the star of WWE ECW so far; it's truly criminal he never got a WWE ECW title run, as he easily could have pulled it off.
Worst of the Night: Shannon Moore - buried before you had a chance. Ouch.
Weapon Count (Total): 9
Chair: 28
Table: 15
Table: 15
Kendo Stick: 10
Garbage Can: 5
Police Baton: 6
Garbage Can Lid: 4
Police Baton: 6
Garbage Can Lid: 4
Street Signs: 3
Steel Steps: 2
Camera Cord: 2
ECW Title: 2
Ladder: 1
ECW Title: 2
Ladder: 1
Baking Sheet: 1
Al Snow's Head: 1
Barbwire Baseball Bat: 1
Bag of Thumbtacks: 1
Announcer's Table: 1
Belt: 1
Cane: 1
Water Bottle: 1
Ring Bell: 1
Chalk Board: 1
Stapler: 1
Announcer's Table: 1
Belt: 1
Cane: 1
Water Bottle: 1
Ring Bell: 1
Chalk Board: 1
Stapler: 1
Police Helmet: 2
Sledgehammer: 1
Total (all time): 92
Comments
Post a Comment