WWE ECW 03 - June 27th, 2006
This episode starts with action immediately. No promo, no introduction, nothing. Just Sabu coming to the ring all pissed off.
Match #1: Sabu vs. Roadkill
Nice to see Roadkill getting some action. When I would play the ECW video games on the Nintendo 64, I would always choose Roadkill because I thought he looked ridiculous. Even up until this point, I had never seen him wrestle before. Wow. What a treat. I guess his whole gimmick is that he is Amish. The one thing I have loved about the Sabu matches so far is that there is no shortage of weapons being used. Hell, Sabu starts the show by literally looking under the ring trying to find something to smash into Roadkill's skull. Also, I know that WWE has barred the headshots with weapons, and probably with good reason, but there is nothing more satisfying than someone getting rocked with a shot to the noggin. Back to the match, it went longer than I thought. Roadkill actually gets some offense in, and reminds me of a very very bad Big Boss Man. I guess he did his part, but he also doesn't catch Sabu right on a suicide dive and Sabu is spiked on the concrete. I don't get why Sabu, who is being put up against John Cena, is getting beaten up by Roadkill and Tony Mamaluke, though. He should probably be a little more dominant against these nobodies (to the casual audience). Regardless, the match was fine. Roadkill taps in the Camel Clutch unlike Mamaluke.
Winner: Sabu
Match Rating: Confusing
Weapons Used: Chair (1), Table (1)
Kurt Angle vs. RVD is announced. That's gonna be great.
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Match #2: Big Show vs. Tommy Dreamer
Tommy Dreamer is in the ring and says he would like another beating from Big Show, who obliges and comes out and whoops his ass again. No ref and no bell, so this is just a brawl I guess. Big Show once again throws around Dreamer like a rag doll. He does the backbreaker again for his finisher. It's actually a pretty cool move, I'm surprised he never stuck with it. I also want to mention quick how little sense it makes that Big Show is using no weapons in this encounter. Dent Dreamer's head in with a chair, Big Show. Enough of you just punching him. This is ECW.
Winner: Technically no contest (again) but really, Big Show
Match Rating: Squash
Weapons Used: None
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Match #3: Mike Knox vs. Danny Doring
Mike Knox's whole gimmick was that he was overprotective of his girlfriend Kelly Kelly, who does a stripping segment each day on the show. Once again, Danny Doring does not get an entrance, but he does get announced as being in the ring this time, even though he is only shown for like a third of a second while his name is called. I decided it was time to acquaint myself with Danny Doring. He is most known for being, along with Roadkill, the last ECW Tag Team Champion. Good for him. He's generic as can be, wearing some super-cheap looking sunglasses. You just know Mike Knox is going to kill him. Speaking of Knox, why is he so protective? Kelly Kelly is LITERALLY paid to be a dancer. Why is Mike Knox trying to get her fired? Did Mike Knox become a wrestler just so he can make sure his girlfriend isn't stripping? What's the thought process here? Anyway, the match goes as you'd expect. Mike Knox is huge. He absolutely dominates Danny Doring while Kelly Kelly strips in front of a "fan", who Mike Knox promptly obliterates. He wins with what looks like a rushed Sister Abigail. The match was... I mean, it was fine. It sets up who Knox is. The gimmick is just stupid.
Winner: Mike Knox
Match Rating: Squash
Weapons Used: None
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Match #4: Big Dick Johnson vs. Sandman
Without a doubt my favorite running segment of the new ECW so far is Sandman destroying stupid characters. Big Dick Johnson is a legend. He is immortal and his sculpt should be in the WWE Hall of Fame when it is all said and done. He comes out in a Ric Flair style robe, only to take it off and have on a Chippendale style outfit. Sandman comes out, and as he is drinking his beer, BDJ rips off the pants and he has a YELLOW G-STRING ON. He begins to stroke Sandman's kendo stick while Sandman spits out his beer. It is RIDICULOUS. If you can't laugh at this, then I don't want to associate myself with you. I don't. It's simple. Sandman finds this hilarious but then for some reason gets super upset and sticks his kendo stick in between BDJ's legs, then smacks him over the skull with the kendo before promptly beating the shit out of him again. This is another no contest match, but it serves the same purpose as the first three. Too good.
Winner: No Contest (technically) but actually Sandman
Match Rating: Hilarious
Weapons Used: Kendo Stick (1)
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Match #5: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle
Edge has made his way to the arena and sits in the stand. He faces RVD soon for the WWE title. Always a fan of an Edge appearance. They announced this match pretty early on in the episode and so while I enjoyed Big Dick Johnson doing his thing, and Mike Knox wrecking Danny Doring, it was really just to hold you over until the main event. What a main event it was. I need to give RVD credit where credit is due. He looked the part against Kurt Angle. I know RVD is known as one of the better wrestlers at this time, he was the WWE Champion on top of being ECW Champion, but Kurt Angle is one of the greatest wrestlers to ever do it. EVER. However, RVD in his prime went toe to toe with Kurt and looked great. This match didn't need weapons, or anything fishy. Just two wrestlers at the top of their games going all out for ECW. RVD did a good job of playing into Angle's wrestling moves, and selling them with devastation. Van Dam's offense is also so much more innovative than I realized. He really looked the part in this match and it made me realize why he had the WWE title in the first place. That doesn't go on just any random (well, Jinder excluded) I think I've said this a few times so far in this series, but this match deserves better. This deserves the main event of RAW or SmackDown! The match had a nice back and forth and also got nearly 20 minutes of time in what is a 45 minute show without commercials. No matter what you thought of the earlier stuff, at least it didn't take up a lot of the show. I figured RVD would win but there were a lot of times where I thought perhaps Angle could come away with a win. He ended up winning with his always beautiful Five Star Frog Splash. Great stuff.
Winner: Rob Van Dam
Match Rating: Excellent
Weapons Used: None
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Another episode in the books and I once again really enjoyed this episode. The early stuff was goofy and sometimes a bit strange (like Sabu having a hard time with Roadkill) but the main event was just fantastic. We also saw the birth of Big Dick Johnson, which is something we can all agree is a service to the wrestling industry. I thought back when I was 12 that WWE's ECW could use some additional titles along with the ECW Title. I know it's an hour show, but it would give some more time for meaningful wrestling aside from the Sandman segments and Mike Knox foolery, although I personally did enjoy them. Maybe a tag team championship. Put Doring and Roadkill back together and let them roll. Alas, it didn't happen, and maybe it was for the better given how tiny this roster was, but whatever. In my opinion, there was a notable lack of weapon use in this show too. We saw the kendo stick per usual, and Sabu doing stupid shit with the chair and a table, but nothing else? It's ECW, man. Come on.
Match of the Night: Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle
Wrestler of the Night: Big Dick Johnson Rob Van Dam - Hung with Angle and put on a show
Worst of the Night: Danny Doring - The guy was doomed from the start
Weapon Count (Total):
Chair: 4
Street Signs: 3
Garbage Can Top: 3
Kendo Stick: 3
Garbage Can: 2
Table: 2
Baking Sheet: 1
Al Snow's Head: 1
ECW Title: 1
Total (all time): 20
Thanks for reading. I've had a ton of fun writing this series. WWE's ECW is just a lot of fun to look back on. I can see why it didn't work already, but it's not stopping me from enjoying them.
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